she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
That's when you crack a 10am beer
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
