Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
