yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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