cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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