Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
