Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
