remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I accidentally burped into my bong.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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