i think i have two assholes
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
