if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
