there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
