as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
