this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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