we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
