i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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