you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
