just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Come see our sink grown plant.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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