pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
