Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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