i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
