I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
