we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Randomize
