Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
