help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
