By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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