My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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