I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Randomize
