And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I'm gonna fight the coyote
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
