Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
