I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
