please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
