i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
