There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
