Non-Jews are for practice
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
