SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
