There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
