I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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