I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
