I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Can I color on your dick again?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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