Plan B is the new Plan A
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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