I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
