it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
