Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
