There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
