if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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