He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
