yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
