birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
