shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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