I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I want to have your abortion
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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