thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
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