I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Randomize
