I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
